Is It OK to Cry at Work?
By Heidi Sadecky, PCC – Executive Coach & Director, Townsend Leadership Program
Recently about half of my clients have burst into tears during a coaching session. While this used to happen occasionally, today’s overwhelming pressures are unending at work and home. This has resulted in professionals breaking down into tears and literally sobbing.
For over half of my career, I believed that showing sadness or tears at work was a sign of weakness. I was a stone. When I felt the tears welling up, I tightened my gut, bit my lip and held my breath. Instead of showing my true feelings, I appeared angry and uptight.
Once I began to develop emotional intelligence tools, I discovered that being authentic about my feelings was better than stuffing them.
Bursting into tears in a meeting, even if it’s virtual, can feel really embarrassing. If there is an emotional breakdown, we often tell ourselves things like:
You should be ashamed of yourself!
Get yourself together!
Stop being a baby!
Let’s face it though, some of the reasons why we cry at work are from:
Frustration about the insane amount of work
Out of control priorities
Mental and physical exhaustion
Making a mistake
Loss of a significant client
This is all normal. Yet, what to do when you feel like crying?
Here’s my advice:
Don’t apologize for the tears. We mistakenly believe it’s ok to show laughter and excitement but not tears. Tears are ok.
Say,” Thank you for being ok with the tears right now.”
If you sense that the tears are going to become out of control sobs, excuse yourself from the situation. Get to a private place and talk to a trusted friend. It’s always helpful when you can cry with someone safe. Ask them to simply be with you, accept you in your deep sadness and contain the emotion, not to fix you or give you solutions.
Let off the steam ahead of time. Too often we are so busy we don’t take the time to feel. Stop. Acknowledge your stress and overwhelm. Share your frustration with a safe person. Really. It lightens the emotional load.
As stress and priorities escalate, share your tears with a friend and when you cry in a meeting, use these steps and see if it helps.
Heidi Sadecky is a seasoned expert in guiding leaders to excel in their roles, overcome workplace obstacles, and achieve tangible outcomes. Armed with a master’s degree in Organizational Leadership, a Lean Six Sigma Green Belt, and certification from the International Coach Federation, Heidi is dedicated to empowering leaders to redefine their leadership trajectories and amplify their impact on the global stage.
Recognized as a sought-after corporate trainer and facilitator, Heidi possesses a diverse array of specialized coaching certifications, including Gallup StrengthsFinder, Emotional Intelligence, Conversational Intelligence, Conflict Dynamics, and Working Genius. As the sole director of the Townsend Leadership Program in the Northeast United States, she extends her expertise to group members from across the region, spanning Ohio, New York, West Virginia, Virginia, Delaware, New Jersey, and beyond. With Heidi's guidance, leaders unlock their full potential, fostering transformative change within themselves and their organizations.
Interested in executive coaching, on-site training, or participating in TLP? Click here to schedule a call.
