The Most Unusual Solution to Workplace Drama
By Heidi Sadecky, PCC – Executive Coach & Director, Townsend Leadership Program
Nothing can zoom you up or deflate you like drama in the workplace. It detracts, derails and diminishes team effectiveness. I’m not talking about healthy conflict that sharpens a team but actual drama…when your co-worker or direct report loses control over a situation or they show up as a bully telling everyone what to do and when. Either way, drama slows everything and everyone down. Worse yet, it erodes trust.
There was a time when I didn’t handle drama well at all. Once I had a co-worker who would go through my things on my desk and my files after work hours…violating my personal space. Instead of addressing this situation immediately, I avoided the conversation and inadvertently allowed him to cross this professional boundary. I felt like I had no control in the situation. I unintentionally was showing up as a victim. My co-workers would commiserate as they saw what was happening. And then one day, I lost it. He had crossed the boundary one too many times for me. Typically, I am quiet, friendly and collaborative, but that morning I surprised everyone with my aggressive reaction. I yelled at him in the middle of the office for all to see and hear. Talk about not showing up well.
I look back and regret allowing the boundary crossing to go on, not addressing it immediately and not doing it in a way to maintain my professionalism and a better co-worker relationship. I wish I could have a do over…I wish I would have known then what I know now.
Today, this is how I teach my clients to handle their own workplace conflicts:
Address the situation immediately, before it creates drama for everyone. There is no upside to avoidance. While others may empathize with you if you don't deal with things, they may lose confidence in your ability to lead. You may lose the respect and trust you've worked so hard to earn.
Develop some conversation starters that make it easy to address conflict. One I like to use is this: "Will you give me the okay to offer you some feedback?"
Now, here is the tip you've been waiting for. This is the most unusual solution that I've found to address conflict. Remind the person that you're on their side. When you can genuinely say that you are “for” the other person in drama, it takes away the threat and provides reassurance. This offers a clear message that you can be trusted, that you really do want the best for all involved, and they can count on you even when they are not showing up as their best self. This really works and it's rarely used by leaders today. Give it a try.
The next time you encounter drama, review these three steps and see if it helps. Take the initiative. You can do it!
Heidi Sadecky is a seasoned expert in guiding leaders to excel in their roles, overcome workplace obstacles, and achieve tangible outcomes. Armed with a master’s degree in Organizational Leadership, a Lean Six Sigma Green Belt, and certification from the International Coach Federation, Heidi is dedicated to empowering leaders to redefine their leadership trajectories and amplify their impact on the global stage.
Recognized as a sought-after corporate trainer and facilitator, Heidi possesses a diverse array of specialized coaching certifications, including Gallup StrengthsFinder, Emotional Intelligence, Conversational Intelligence, Conflict Dynamics, and Working Genius. As the sole director of the Townsend Leadership Program in the Northeast United States, she extends her expertise to group members from across the region, spanning Ohio, New York, West Virginia, Virginia, Delaware, New Jersey, and beyond. With Heidi's guidance, leaders unlock their full potential, fostering transformative change within themselves and their organizations.
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